Thirty-two

I’m happy.

This past year hasn’t been easy, nor what I expected. But at the end of the day, I’m living my life. And I’m okay with that.

I’ve spent a lot of time trying to figure out me. What do I want to be when I grow up, who do I want to be? I’ve been fortunate to have had a number of opportunities and decisions, and through all of that have made choices that kept me here. In Portland. I decided that I’d rather be running toward something new and exciting, than running away from something in my past. And in committing myself to where I am, to this place, I’ve also realized that I’ve been asking the wrong questions.

(It’s funny how many of the best lessons occur both at work and in my not-work life at the same time.)

Who am I to think that I’ll know what I want to be, some number of years from now? I thought I had to have a plan for my future, for what I’d be doing, for who I wanted to be. But instead, I’m focused on the here and now. I’m open to my future being unknown. If anything, I’m taking each day as it comes.

Instead, I’m trying to answer: What are those rituals and routines I want in my life?

My hope is that I’m growing and getting a little bit better, each day. I’m trying to eat healthy foods, and to take care of my own self. I have a bedtime, and a morning ritual to take Lyra out for a walk around the neighborhood. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not perfect. But I know what I’m striving to achieve each day.

Do right by those around me.

Do good work, at scale.

Make time for myself, and my family. Disconnect, take a walk with the pup and explore.

Look forward, never back.